Working for someone that doesn’t appreciate you, is crushing. Work can be challenging and to have a boss that doesn’t appreciate you just makes work so much harder.
I have been there, multiple times. I kept thinking…
Why doesn’t this person appreciate what I am trying to do?
Why can’t they see my value?
I believed I was doing everything that was required and yet I was in the situation where I was thinking I was a failure, not delivering the results and not really feeling part of the team.
It took a while for reality to sink in, that no matter what I did I was never going to measure up to whatever was going on in my boss’s head. Once I realised this, I felt free and able to cope with the situation! I worked on regaining my self-confidence and commenced searching for roles where I would be appreciated.
In the beginning, there was something not quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on, I wanted to give my boss the benefit of the doubt. Yet as time went on, it become obvious that no matter what I did, there was always a problem. Had I realised that there was an issue earlier, I could have identified a better coping strategy and path out of the situation, earlier. I kept thinking that the situation would improve and of course, it never did.
I was able to move roles and work for someone that did appreciate me.
If you are unsure if your boss appreciates you or not, my 4 warning signs will help to you assess the situation:
Words and actions do not match
To you face, your boss is saying all the right things, but their actions say something totally different.
Examples are:
- In meetings they don’t support your input – yet in private conversations they tell you are doing everything right
- You agree an approach and then later you find out through others that a different approach is to be employed
This is a tricky situation as they just deny, deny, deny. It is hard to gauge what they are saying or not saying when you are not in the room.
I recommend keeping a journal of events in this situation otherwise you can feel that you are in a parallel universe.
You don't have a seat at the table
Not being included in key meetings, is a red flag that something is not right. You ask to be invited, it is agreed and then nothing.
People tell you
You friends and/or frenemies tell you. Sure, you can shrug it off and think it isn’t true. Listen and plan accordingly. I also recommend examining why people are telling you this, what is their motive?
4. Your boss withholds information
Hoarding information is a big warning sign that you boss does not appreciate you.
If any of these things are happening to you, then it is time to examine why this might be happening and what it the impact is you.
Your boss withholds information
Hoarding information is a big warning sign that you boss does not appreciate you.
If any of these things are happening to you, then it is time to examine why this might be happening and what it the impact is you.
